Motivation Style...

𝐖𝐡𝐢𝐜𝐡 𝐦𝐨𝐭𝐢𝐯𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐬𝐭𝐲𝐥𝐞 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐞𝐦𝐩𝐥𝐨𝐲𝐢𝐧𝐠?

In this week’s workshop, we explored the concept of 𝐀𝐯𝐨𝐢𝐝𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐞 𝐌𝐨𝐭𝐢𝐯𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐯 𝐀𝐩𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐚𝐜𝐡 𝐌𝐨𝐭𝐢𝐯𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧.

Either method can be used to work towards goals, but there are significant differences & sometimes subtle nuances.

When Avoidance Motivation is employed, the focus is on what you want to move away from.

There’s nothing wrong with being aware of what is not working or identifying a problem so we can do something about it.

However, there are drawbacks when this method is sustained because when we are entirely focused on the problem, it can become negative, draining & a self-fulfilling prophecy.

It is said that a different mindset is required to find a solution than the mindset that is applied to focusing on the problem!

If we become consumed by what is missing, lacking, scarce, problematic or disappointing, then the dominant focus is rather negative.

Ironically Avoidance Motivation directs all our attention to the very thing we do not want.

𝐖𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐜𝐚𝐧 𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐩𝐞𝐧 𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐀𝐯𝐨𝐢𝐝𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐞 𝐌𝐞𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐝 𝐢𝐬 𝐬𝐮𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐢𝐧𝐞𝐝:

·      𝐒𝐭𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐬! This leads to depletion of energy, enthusiasm & passion.

·      𝐍𝐞𝐠𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐯𝐞 𝐅𝐞𝐞𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 because the focus is on lack & scarcity (surviving).

·      𝐋𝐢𝐦𝐢𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐓𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠 the focus becomes small, no big picture or vision.

·      𝐅𝐞𝐚𝐫 𝐛𝐚𝐬𝐞𝐝 𝐝𝐞𝐜𝐢𝐬𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐦𝐚𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠 reducing potential & opportunity.  

·      𝐋𝐚𝐜𝐤 𝐨𝐟 𝐉𝐨𝐲 on the journey to the point where life becomes a struggle.

·      𝐋𝐨𝐰 𝐒𝐞𝐥𝐟-𝐄𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐞𝐦 – firefighting impacts confidence, creativity & resilience.

By contrast, 𝐀𝐩𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐚𝐜𝐡 𝐌𝐨𝐭𝐢𝐯𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 is focused on moving towards what we do want.

With this method, we have our ‘eyes on the prize’ so to speak!

We are giving our attention to the positive & potential outcome we aspire to achieving and all the benefits it brings.  

The focus is not simply on solving the problem by filling a hole or rectifying a deficit but rather on success and growth.

𝐖𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐜𝐚𝐧 𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐩𝐞𝐧 𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐀𝐩𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐚𝐜𝐡 𝐌𝐞𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐝 𝐢𝐬 𝐬𝐮𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐢𝐧𝐞𝐝:

·      𝐇𝐢𝐠𝐡 𝐄𝐧𝐞𝐫𝐠𝐲! Enthusiasm, excitement & passion keeps the momentum. 

·      𝐏𝐨𝐬𝐢𝐭𝐢𝐯𝐞 𝐅𝐞𝐞𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 because the focus is on abundance & increase (thriving).

·      𝐋𝐢𝐦𝐢𝐭𝐥𝐞𝐬𝐬 𝐓𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠 with vision, inspiration, imagination & potential.

·      𝐌𝐨𝐫𝐞 𝐎𝐩𝐩𝐨𝐫𝐭𝐮𝐧𝐢𝐭𝐢𝐞𝐬 because people want to go on the journey with you.

·      𝐆𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐑𝐞𝐬𝐢𝐥𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞 to overcome any obstacles to reaching the goal.

·      𝐂𝐨𝐧𝐟𝐢𝐝𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞 to create the life you want to live & to choose the way you feel.

Which one feels better to you?!

Allow me to share a spiritually intelligent insight for you.

If you recognise yourself in the Avoidance Motivation examples that follow & you are feeling at a low with it, please do not use this as a stick to beat yourself with!

We have the power to change in a heartbeat.

Perception is reality (my favourite phrase)!

See it as a sign that you are ready to transform.

When we go through a significant transformation, we must first get knee deep in this painful territory to truly learn the lessons & rise like the phoenix. It’s all part of the grand master plan!

Let me share two scenarios so I can further illustrate the difference in the methods.

These examples are general examples simply to express the differences. One is based on a personal desire (personal life) and the other is based on a professional goal (professional life).

Not all of us will identify with these examples but we can apply the theory to our own situations, large and small.

𝐄𝐱𝐚𝐦𝐩𝐥𝐞 𝟏: 𝐏𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐨𝐧𝐚𝐥 𝐃𝐞𝐬𝐢𝐫𝐞.

Let’s say someone is currently single and aspires to having a loving relationship.

𝐀𝐯𝐨𝐢𝐝𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐞 𝐌𝐨𝐭𝐢𝐯𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 :

Their focus would be something like this – they want to find a partner because they feel unloved, unsupported, lonely & as if something is missing from their life.

Now this may be their reality & there’s no harm in owning it – it is honest & it highlights the ‘problem’ they wish to rectify.

However, if they continually focus on the lack of not having this person in their life, it can promote a downward spiral.

They might start to believe it will never be possible to find the right person.

This may lead them to making no effort to meet anyone (because what’s the point, right?).

Conversely, they might make too much effort in a desperate attempt to have their needs met by somebody else & regularly feel thwarted or disappointed.

When all our energy is directed to filling a hole, we are more likely to end up deeper in the trench we have dug for ourselves.

𝐀𝐩𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐚𝐜𝐡 𝐌𝐨𝐭𝐢𝐯𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧:

Their focus would be something more like this – they are enjoying their life & are excited about sharing it with someone special when the time is right.

They are motivated by the prospect of meeting this person & getting to know them, enjoying their company & imagining the experiences & fun they will have together.

They have self-belief in their vision & in the meantime, they continue to appreciate everything else about their life. They are prepared to meet new people & discern who is right for them.

They enjoy the journey & grow as a person, learning how to feel more supported & loved without relying on someone else to do it for them.

Often the qualities we seek in others are the ones that we haven’t yet been able to own within / give to ourselves.

Example 2: Professional Goal.

Let’s say you run your own business & your goal is to increase your profit. You wish to enjoy the work you do & become financially stable.

This would include putting money aside for the future, being able to provide for yourself & sustain a prosperous lifestyle & invest in the expansion of the business.

𝐀𝐯𝐨𝐢𝐝𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐞 𝐌𝐨𝐭𝐢𝐯𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧:

Their focus would be something like this – they need to earn more income because they struggle to pay their bills, they dislike being dependent on others & feeling like a failure.

Again, it is important to acknowledge this with raw honesty so they can understand their perception of it. This is awareness & it is the key to changing anything.

If this focus is sustained beyond identifying the pain points, then more attention is given to the lack of money rather than the reason they started their business in the first place.

When the attention goes to survival rather than possibility, they are paying bills rather than building a business & those are two different mindsets.

The need becomes narrow & is about generating return rather than experiencing the passion & enthusiasm they have for their work.

The focus switches to immediate results which shuts down long-term vision & can challenge integrity & decision making.

They can become less resourceful & less willing to take opportunities.

Again, when all our energy is directed to filling a hole, we are more likely to end up deeper in the trench we have dug for ourselves.

𝐀𝐩𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐚𝐜𝐡 𝐌𝐨𝐭𝐢𝐯𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧:

Their focus would be something more like this – they are excited about growing their business & sharing their product or service with others.

They are inspired by their ability to do what they love & work in the way they wish to.   

They are on purpose & aligned with their vision for the future, committed to the path whilst being open-minded enough to know that this may not occur in a straight line.

They are motivated by the prospect of more people benefiting from what they have established or are creating.

Their focus is on consistently improving the quality of their product or service for fulfilment & satisfaction.

In summary, I hope that this content made sense of these two styles of motivation & clearly demonstrated the differences.

I have shared two very strong versions to make the point, but these modes can show up in more subtle ways & it takes practised self-awareness to recognise.

We can easily dip in & out of both Avoidance & Approach motivation, the important part is knowing when we are doing this & making the gentle shift that supports us.

If you are currently experiencing the strong version in my examples or relating it to another area of life that feels challenging, then my positive belief & perspective may help you.

It simply means that you have great power to embrace on the other side of the spectrum because everything exists in balance!

Whether you realise it or not, you’ve been doing some deep healing work to dig out old deep-rooted beliefs that no longer serve you, well done!

When our perception changes, so does our reality!

My purpose for sharing this blog is to empower readers to become more become more deeply aware of our drivers & motivation style.  This can show up in very subtle ways & we need to be pretty tuned in to have awareness of it. 

The awareness is the key to change.

If this speaks to you, you can apply it to any area of your life for its betterment.

If this blog has made you think, I would love to hear about it, do share! hello@amandagreencoaching.co.uk

Good Vibes & Positive Intentions, Amanda G 

If you would like to do some transformational work around this, I can help & you are welcome to contact me to explore 121 Coaching.

https://calendly.com/agsq/reset

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