Warning, this is not for everyone! The good news is, it could be exactly right for you!
These are my opinions based on my experience, research, and work. I have no interest in convincing anyone of anything. Take it as it resonates.
If you have followed me / my work for any length of time (and for that I thank you) or read my recent story blog, then you will know I have been through a significant level of transformation.
This process has been an internal one, I had to change myself if I wanted to change any of the things around me.
Most importantly I wanted to change the way I felt about myself, namely this sense of insecurity / feeling of not being good enough which began spiralling into anxiety.
My main frustration was that I didn’t know why I even was that way!
Many of us can look at our childhood and join some of the dots there, but it didn’t explain everything and I wanted to take personal responsibility.
Blaming others is not healthy and it ultimately it does not heal.
It took me on an intense journey over the past 5 years of being dedicated to find the truth.
I have done tons of research, studying, working on myself and with many clients in my coaching practice.
The most surprising element of all as a diehard sceptic was in accessing divine intelligence and spirituality.
In truth, I did NOT want to find answers there, I was very reluctant to explore that side of life!
I wanted the solutions nicely packaged up in something that sounded more credible, preferably scientific, and psychological!
I now cringe at the way I used to think and laugh at the same time because we just can’t take ourselves too seriously!
It’s fair to say I had to get over myself and start to open my mind (and my heart) to something bigger, to greater concepts, philosophies and to experiences that have blown my mind.
Each step of the way, what I thought I knew was getting blown out of the water! Wow!
At many points on this journey, I have been in despair, teetering on the edge of my comfort zone time and time again.
At one point having access to information and beings beyond this 3D world and trying to function in the physical world was challenging, it took a great deal of integration.
Why? Because I was not what you might call ‘woo woo’ in fact, I had no idea until now, just how much resistance I had to it all.
I was also terrified of looking like a crackpot.
Now, I have come too far to care! Which I love!
I am grounded in it all and I know who I am.
I have integrated so I can literally wander between realms, have mystical experiences and receive psychic information then make sandwiches for the kids, shoot the breeze with the neighbours and use my accounting software!
It’s really quite funny!
I also now feel a level of peace I have NEVER experienced before.
Equally, I am not overly attached to this being permanent, because fluctuation is the truth of life!
I am more than OK with being thrown out of kilter until I am not…I know my ego might not like it.
Equally I don’t react in the same way to things anymore. Equally I will still react to some things.
I am more than OK with any reactions and emotions I have. I do not judge myself for it.
I am not looking for perfection, it doesn’t exist, or rather, it does, in all times, but I couldn’t see it before!
I feel good, I have a level of trust and faith that everything will work so long as I stay tuned in.
I am also still learning, and I know that in the grand scheme of things, I know nothing!
I am sensitive and intuitive, and I still have my logical, practical mind.
I am also psychic, I can read people, specifically projection and their shadow.
I don’t do this all the time because it would be exhausting and quite frankly I can’t be @rsed!
I still take people at face value and equally I don’t take any BS, unless I am really tired like when I encountered a rude woman in the shop the other week…but there was also a lesson tucked in there of letting it go!
I am a transformation coach, a woman, a mother, a wife, a daughter, a sister, a friend and a confident. I am flawed.
I am also one of the most loving and compassionate people you can meet. I love love love to laugh and can have a dark and light sense of humour.
The one thing it is so important to be and yet so many of us can fall short of through fear, is authentic.
And so, it’s time for me to be everything I am apart from the bits I don’t know about yet.
When we don’t hide behind a mask, we meet the right people and the right opportunities. I am not for everyone and that is quite simply perfect.
We get this one shot at life (well spiritually speaking, I have discovered that’s not actually true but that’s another blog!) as we know it.
So why pretend, why play small, we can build up so much fear around vulnerability and yet it can set us free. Also, there is no rush, rushing is a fool’s game, unless you must catch a train! Duality speaks!
We live in so many conditioned and perceived limitations, manufactured expectations and debilitating beliefs…..but what if we started to question whether it was true, or even half true?! Mind blowing!!
Ultimately what are people in need of? What is the answer to a happy life? We can talk about values and all that and its important stuff that links, BUT there is an answer I have found that is proven repeatedly to me.
In the transformation I have been through, as well as permanently changing the inner workings and wiring of my mind, I have done a lot of work around the heart and soul (too big for this blog so we will stick with the heart for now).
Here’s what else I have transformed, before I share this, it is important to tell you why I am sharing.
It is not for the purpose of bigging myself up (I genuinely don’t have any need to do that because I am at peace with myself).
Nor am I sharing in the hope that I receive some sort of validation.
I can literally feel a force running through me right now that is compelling me to type this, it came unexpectedly and it’s not even 9am yet!
I am still in my pyjamas with my hair unflatteringly piled on top of my head…the style my family so fondly refer to as ‘pineapple head’. :D
I am sharing this for the hope and good of anyone who reads it who wants or needs to believe that it is completely possible to change yourself and your life.
I do not share anything lightly! I do not share anything I cannot claim as having done myself and seen repeatedly in others.
It’s not actually about me…even though it’s literally about me!!! Oh don’t you just love another good dollop of duality! It’s so good, it’s like that extra thick skyr!
It’s about you and knowing that whatever pain you feel, whatever challenge you face whether it feels like it’s on the outside of you or the inside, I can absolutely promise you that it is possible to heal.
With that caveat, here is what I have transformed (I am also not saying that this will be permanent, how can we ever know such a thing?! BUT what I know for sure, is that I have a way of working with it all now that will help me enormously):
· Many of the relationships in my life (of course other people have a part to play and I am grateful to all of them).
· My relationship with my body (because I hated and I never listened to it).
· My relationship with food, alcohol and other external influences.
· My relationship to my emotions (I do not fear them and I know how to work with them and metabolise them).
· My thoughts and beliefs (I no longer invite toxic thoughts to permeate or poison my mind and as such I have re-wired my belief system).
· My relationship with money (I believe it can be used as a force for good, I trust it will come when I need it, I believe in the value of my work, I have self-worth and I can handle it).
· My relationship with spirituality (from non-existent to it being the most powerful source of love and divinity that runs through me and that I see in everyone else).
· My relationship to love, fear, judgement, patience, trust, faith, compassion, acceptance and so much more!
I can’t think of anything else at this moment, but rest assured I have been devoted and committed to the journey!
It is possible to make changes, especially when we can be open to the fact that it just might not be in the way we expect.
After all, isn’t the definition of insanity doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results?
Don’t we find ourselves doing that repeatedly in life, hoping for a better outcome but effectively wanting it under the same conditions?
In the space that we know (not necessarily feel comfortable in but we will take familiarity over comfort in many situations)!
The good old cycle of rinse and repeat!
I am sharing this from the heart, you can probably feel that if you are connected to yours. Mine has been cracked wide open!
I have experienced hardships on this journey, it has not been plain sailing and I am eternally grateful to those who have supported me in, who have been there for me unconditionally.
I have navigated choppy waters, seen the depth of myself and others, witnessed and played with the shadow (my speciality!) and I have chiselled away at the walls that surrounded my heart for so many years.
Other skilled people and beings have helped me, I did not do this alone but again with duality in the air, there were parts of it that I had to do alone because nobody could do it for me.
I have seen things I can never unsee and just at any point when my ego wanted to take over, I have been knocked down and humbled in the form of premonitions, messages or physical injury.
I have quite literally been brought to my knees on this path, like some kind of sacred pilgrimage!
Having gone from being a total sceptic, I have also felt like the ‘gifts’ I was given of clairvoyance and more, were a total curse at one stage.
It was so confusing to my strategic brain that wanted a well formulated practical and linear plan, preferably delivered swiftly rather than over a space of 5 years! Honestly the frustration I have felt!
I have had amazing dreams and premonitions.
I have also had a premonition that I did not like! One that unlocked a world of pain inside me. Information I cannot and will not share with anyone. That tested my integrity to the max!
I have come face to face with spiritual truths that have terrified me. I have had to continue to surrender to a greater power when things got too much, when I lost a sense of who I was, when I lost any sense of purpose, when I wondered what the effing point was!
It’s been like a series of tests, an initiation and now I understand why.
So that I can be authentic, burn away the fear and live in freedom, the freedom to be all of who I am without shame.
Ultimately so I can make a difference to others. I can now see this as a blessing, but I had to move through the dark first to get to the light.
I can say I have integrity in all my actions, because I have been through a process of deep integration.
Yes, sometimes I have to check myself and that’s a good thing. None of us are anything but human. But do we really know what it is to be human?
I had a negative view of spirituality and I have moved to a state of pure reverence for it.
Anyone with gifts or influence over others whether that is as a coach, a guide, a mentor, a therapist, a leader, a manager, a parent, guardian, caregiver etc has a responsibility to respect their gifts, their position and their people and to treat it all the reverence it deserves.
There will be more people discovering intuitive gifts at this time. Some will have to move through the feelings I encountered, for others it will be a much lighter transition.
For you it might be a deeper sense of purpose, coming more into alignment with your authenticity, doing something differently, finding a new creative force that flows through you or psychic gifts developing.
If it’s the spiritual side of life, you will either be open to it, or like me, you may have great resistance to it. Either way, it is a message!
You may have shut it down a long time ago, you may not even be conscious of this. But you will know that there is something more to discover to live a richer, deeper life.
I am stronger than I have ever been and equally sensitive.
I feel some nerves at exposing myself in this way, but my courage and spirit is so much stronger, it is non-negotiable.
I also feel nervous excitement when I do something new, like being interviewed by a panel of judges the other week, but I am not insecure, and I have no regrets, even when I get it wrong.
I am also completely sound of mind.
Of the many people I encounter, only one or two have questioned my sanity. At first in all honesty, I felt insulted, did they now know me at all?!
But then I realised that what I am talking about is too big for some people (you would need to read my earlier blog to get a hint of this stuff).
It was too big for me at times, so they are clearly going to look for the ‘logical’ explanation in a topic that has little to do with logic. It’s just what I did, I get it, it was a reflection of the previous version of me.
We can feel more comfortable with the logical explanations that fit best with the left-hand side of the brain, where we need to put everything in a box with a nice, neat clearly defined label on it. But there is no magic there!
Logic has limitations. No art, new ideas, visions or inventions would be created under a purely logical hat!
That’s exactly where I used to be. Black or white. Thank you very much! But no more, 50 shades of grey would be a limitation right now (albeit a sexy one)!
I also know that it was THEIR fear for themselves (projection), a reflection of their personal history, rather than a match to mine.
Whenever you share something with someone, be prepared to either be accepted with loving arms or to receive a filtered response through the perimeters of their understanding or fears.
Be compassionate but know your own truth.
Being offended is a choice.
I have found my power and there is no force greater than love (there’s a lot more to this but again, this isn’t a book…yet)!
I will touch on some of the theory here, but I will save the rest because its destiny is to be shared with so many in the form of a programme and workshops so we can do the work together.
We are all in this together, it is a domino effect. What we do for ourselves affects everyone else we meet and engage with.
I don’t subscribe to the Pollyanna BS about simply thinking positive or being always ‘love and light’.
That can be just as much about suppression and spiritual bypassing.
To think that we came here only to know only joy would be to limit the full spectrum of the human experience. We are sentient for a purpose, yes to return to love, but by navigating the reality of the rest of it!
I subscribe to being real, to knowing and understanding ALL emotions. To rinsing the system of unreasonable fear that exists in the form of many other emotions and thought forms, archetypes and patterns.
I subscribe to a physiological solution because the intellect is limited. It takes mind, body, soul and spirit to heal. Hormones and more!
Life is like….a giant (not box of chocolates although you could use that analogy but to be honest, some of life feels more like sh!t than sugar)!
Chessboard (if you are a foodie, please do not mistake this for cheeseboard, that is very different and equally delicious)!
I don’t play chess (if you do, you will be able to come up with a far better analogy and feel free to share this with me!) so whilst this may seem like a strange choice, it is an image that is presented to me frequently.
The game of life is like navigating a giant chessboard and when we understand the real rules, not simply the man-made structure but the universal laws at play, the game gets so much better.
Universal laws such as karma, attraction, vibration, balance, cycles, acceptance, divine flow, patience, abundance to name a few.
When I began to understand this, it was like the light turned on!
The answer to a lack of abundance, whether that is the love we crave, the friendships we long for, the fortune we desire or the dream job / house / business, ultimately what we might call happiness… is unlocking the heart.
There are many factors to imbalances, anxiety and depression, of course hormones and neurology play a massive part, as do illnesses and crises and in some cases psychosis etc.
However, beneath all of this, there is either a current of love or fear running through our systems.
I believe our natural state is love. But there is a road to travel to arrive at that destination and the work is ongoing.
There are also many influences at play to convince us otherwise and distract us from this state.
Even the word love is just so big it is often misunderstood and mistaken.
When we experience anxiety and depression, it is ultimately because the flow from the heart has been blocked.
It is an opportunity to navigate this roadblock.
So often we tune into negative thought patterns and become overly identified with the mind and who we think we are. Then the judgement floods in and the meaning we make of it all.
The connection to our heart becomes faded and lost. Incessant thinking takes up all the space and there is no room left for presence, intuition, compassion, curiosity and a deeper understanding.
There are so many ways that the heart becomes blocked, at the most basic level it will involve an emotion connected to fear.
Fear based emotions are not bad, but we are often afraid of them. They are actually all incredibly helpful, particularly when functioning organically and in balance.
But we can easily misunderstand emotions, it is not our fault, we have been practising this for generations!
Many of us have been supressing emotions for a lifetime, it’s become an art form, but it causes suffering.
I would not deny any emotions, they are all perfectly valid. They are our inner guidance system, they are indicators of what you must heal.
All emotions require presence, love and respect. We can learn from them when we are not so busy supressing or trying to get rid of them or judging them.
There are very healthy ways to process emotions so that they can finally be blessed and released in wisdom.
When we leave them simmering like a pressure cooker, they are simply going to explode or implode and make us ill.
They are like a volcano, bubbling beneath the surface, ready to burn ourselves or others,
Ready to play out in our relationships or work or even the way we drive our car.
They might be ready to steer you to the nearest source of sedation or form of numbing out.
Everything is connected!
Any situation has the power to either open your heart further to love or it to shut it down.
If you have a heart block (and many of us do!), It may seem that you are presented with more and more situations to torture it (the wounded ego has a very hard time with this)! It can feel like punishment.
However, when we see that the universe is really a powerful and benevolent force and that we are presented with these opportunities so that we can heal, this is a very different and far more empowering story.
The concept of manifestation and the law of attraction have been so popularised. But we can so often take a very limited approach to big universal laws.
Many people understand this concept as the idea that we can think about what we want and it will arrive. So why then does it not seem to work for everyone?!
I will write another blog on the truth of this at some point.
But in short, you can ‘manifest / beg’ until the cows come home BUT if your beliefs don’t line up with your desires, if your thoughts, feelings and actions are stuck in a vibration of lack or fear, it won’t work.
If you are manifesting out of desperation, you are sending the opposite message.
If it is done so that you can avoid doing the real work to change, it won’t be yours, because you are not a match to it.
It’s like trying to drive a car towards a destination with a sleeping elephant in the back seat!
We are always being provided with powerful life lessons as our key to transformation.
Some people believe that winning the lottery will solve all their problems.
You can ask and you can buy the tickets, but what will it teach you?
Interestingly I have read about people who win big and lose all the money!
Why? Because their vibration around money is not a match to managing, handling, accepting, building and having boundaries around that level of wealth.
Sadly money can dramatically change relationships and the people you attract.
The good news is that when you master the truth of it all, that is when miracles can happen, most likely in a way you never expected.
My hope for writing this today, is that it touches you in some way, either you find it entertaining to read or you have found something profound that has resonated in your heart.
If it triggers you in any way, good or bad, pay attention to that!
It is never the thing or the person that teaches us the most, it is our reaction to the thing or person that is the most revealing. There is something to explore there.
Either way, from my heart to yours, I wish you much love and blessings.
Miracles are available to all of us, from the gentle hum of a bumble bee to volcanoes of personal power, there is enough and we are enough, Amanda G x
P.S Powerful group programmes and 121 work coming available soon. If you know you are interested in finding out more, email me on hello@amandagreencoaching.co.uk
