Anger – Emotional Deep Dive!
Anger most often arises as a result of the past, rather than what we are reacting to in the present moment, even though it doesn’t feel that way & can arrive so instantly.
Anger is about something that happened that we don’t like & struggle to accept.
How does anger show up in the initial stages? In irritation, frustration, annoyance, impatience, agitation.
Example: You snap at someone close to you.
Next stage: Regret kicks in, you realise you are tired/have been stressed but you really don’t want that person to dislike you or be hurt by your reaction. In this moment, you might choose self-compassion & accept what happened, apologise & move on.
However, it can also look like this:
You begin questioning yourself (a typical primary question in these scenarios is “what’s wrong with me?” for example).
Next phase: Guilt (one of the most toxic low frequency emotions we can carry in our vibration). This feeling extends the questioning into self-criticism & is an invitation for that dominating inner critic to show up. You can then begin to feel inadequate & start to doubt your own worthiness. You use your own energy against yourself. You start to internalise it “there must be something wrong with me.” “I am bad.”
Next Phase: Blame. You need to justify your actions to alleviate the guilty feelings. Now you create stories to provide an explanation for why you behaved that way. These may be perfectly valid btw BUT they are a mechanism to cope with the guilt. “He made me angry” “my mother used to be that way with me.”
You then blame yourself & when you do that for long enough, you will start to turn this outwards & blame other people.
Anxiety and perfectionism are often rooted in deep seated anger. The subconscious is powerful but it can be transformed.
If this has resonated on any level, feel free to get in touch on hello@amandagreencoaching.co.uk or 07789911174